


The Light We Cannot See

by Damewhore



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Depression, Domestic, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Finn (Star Wars), M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Parents, Sad, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21917362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damewhore/pseuds/Damewhore
Summary: Set 4 years after the rise of Skywalker, the first order is still a threat and their number one target is a 4 year old year girl that happens to be Finn and Poe's daughter.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 25
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Even tho it is 4 years after episode 9, Leia is still alive.

Finn imagined a lot of ways this day could evolve. But running in a dessert on his own while a freaking tie fighter is trying to kill him was definitely not what he had in mind when he woke up this morning.

And what a lovely morning it was. He’s been waking up in Poe’s warm hug for almost 5 years now but still, he couldn’t get used to it. Every morning starts like this. Starts with warm peaceful thoughts and a beautiful smile and an extremely hot “Good morning handsome” in Poe’s still sleepy voice.

Well one more thing he couldn’t get used to was Lai’ra’s enthusiastic face popping from the corner of the bed and shouting “Come on dad! Wake up!” and then usually jumping on top of him laughing with her tiny hands trying to tickle him.

“Easy now” giggled Finn. “ You’re other dad is awake too”

“No i’m not, he’s lying” Poe said smiling, with his eyes still closed.

Lai’ra sat on her knees, between them. “Dad will we fly today?”

To that Poe opened his eyes. He had a soft expression and a loving but also sad smile on his lips. You could almost not tell how tired he was.

“ We can’t today cariño...maybe another day, okay?”

Finn’s heart almost broke to pieces. He knew how much Poe wanted to teach their little girl everything his mother taught him. But he couldn’t because they were hiding and their only ship was almost out fuel.

 _Finn hated this_. He hated hiding and running. He hated the fact that he still couldn’t give his little girl the normal and peaceful life he always wanted. He hated the black circles under Poe’s eyes and he hated how every day he just turned more and more lifeless.

Poe never showed this to anyone. He was always positive and trying to keep going but Finn knew the difference. Finn could read him behind his eyes.

Late at night, when Poe would finally allow himself to sleep, Finn could finally set himself free and cry. Cry silently, about everything. Cry about the fact that he felt so _helplessly_ weak and unable to protect and save the people he loved more than anything in the galaxy. Cry about the fact that his dear Poe, the love of his life, was slowly _dying_. The light he had in his heart, the light that made Finn fall helplessly in love with him, was fading away and there was nothing he could do about it.

Lai’ra nodded like she understood. She was so young. _God_ she was so small, so thin, but she had to grow up early, just like he did. The day she was born Finn promised to himself that he’d give her a good life and now, 4 years later, he’s already failing.

There was knock at the door and then Rey appeared alongside with bb-8.

“Good morning. BB-8 is here to get our special lady to eat her breakfast.” Rey smiled at Lai’ra like she always did.

“Also Poe and Finn, i need you to General Organa’s office right now.” she said in a more serious voice.

“But hold on” answered Poe, “i can’t get up yet. I haven’t received my very special morning kiss from my very special pilot and i’m soooo out of energy”

He moved his hand _dramatically_ to his forehead in such a Poe Dameron way.

Finn smiled as Lai’ra jumped and wrapped her little hands around Poe’s neck and kept pressing kisses to his cheek. Poe’s soft laugh made Finn feel warm inside.

“Thank you baby. Now go eat and take care of BB-8 for me,okay?”

Lai’ra nodded, her curly hair getting in her face. She run to the door and stopped to give “auntie Rey” a hug before disappearing completely.

“Okay i’ll wait for you in Leia’s office, don’t be late”

“Are we ever late?”

“Don’t challenge me Dameron” and with that, Rey left.

Poe sat up and took a deep breath. He covered his eyes, with his palms. Finn knew how to deal with this. He learned how. _He had to._

He softly placed his hand in Poe’s back and slowly draw circles on it.

“You okay?”

He left a sigh. “Always”. He opened his eyes to look at him.

“You?”

“Always.”

And there it was- the smile that only Finn saw. The smile that makes Poe who he is.

The smile that was getting lost as time passed and Finn knew that it was fading away just like Poe’s hope.

 _Just like Poe himself_.

* * *

The meeting didn’t go very well. It started a bit odd, with Leia looking at them with a sad expression in her eyes and it evolved with Finn shouting, Rey trying to shout harder telling him to calm down and Poe completely silent looking only at Leia.

“Hell no i ain’t calming down! Are y’all serious right now?” If Finn wasn’t this angry he’d actually feel bad for shouting at Rey.

“We’re not gonna solve anything if you continue shouting like a maniac!”

Finn was ready to shout back some totally not friendly words at Rey, when Poe’s tired and broken voice made the room go silent.

“Is this the only way?” His eyes were steady and only looking Leia, in the familiar look they always shared.

“Poe.” Finn was desperate. “Are you crazy? Didn’t we hear the same thing?”

“It is.” Leia answered back, not breaking the gaze they shared.

That’s when Poe looked away, with tears in his eyes. “Finn if the General says it is the only way then it is.”

Finn didn’t have a chance to answer back because Poe started to swallow his sobs as he continued talking, “I have given my life to the Resistance. To this cause. I never doubted anything you said General. I always followed my orders. Always. But this i-” his voice was shaking more with every word, “i- i just can’t. I am so sorry but i can’t”

Leia got up and moved around her big desk. She reached Poe in just 3 steps and hugged him tight. That’s when Poe stopped trying to hold back and cried.

“Finn”

He didn’t even see Rey getting next to him.

“We’ve always known it would come to this. We tried so many things. We even traveled to planets in the outer rim. Lai’ra is only getting stronger day by day and if we continue to run like this we put her, the Resistance and ourselves in danger. The best solution right now is to split up and you know it. The Resistance needs this and Lai’ra is in danger while you and Poe stay with her”

Finn shook his head. “Rey i can’t. No. Me and Poe will take her and run away alone.”

“Finn how long do you think you three will last? A week? A month tops? Is that what you want?”

“Rey please” he begged, “Don’t do this. Anything but this”

Just when he finished his sentence, a siren filled the room.

“The first order.” she breathed, “They’re here.”

* * *

Rey and Leia run out of the room, already shouting orders about evacuation and the defence plan.

“Okay you go find Jess and the rest of the squadron, i’ll go get Lai’ra and then then we can-”

Finn stopped talking immediately when he realised Poe wasn’t paying attention.

He was standing in the same corner he was throughout the whole meeting, his arms tight around his body and he was shaking.

_Poe wasn’t always like this._

Finn knew how to take care of him. He knew this wasn’t the result of him being scared of a first order attack. This was his body and mind giving up under the weight of anxiety.

Poe was taking quick and short breaths and Finn could almost hear his heart pounding. These panic attacks were getting more and more frequent, almost every month now.

Finn could hear the chaos outside and he almost felt guilt that he actually didn’t care as much. _Because his whole world was inside this room and this is where he’s needed._

Slowly he came to Poe’s side. He was doing his best in keeping his voice calm.

“Poe”, he breathed, “Is it okay if i sit next to you?”

Poe didn’t react in any kind of way. Finn swallowed and tried again.

“Poe, can i stand beside you please?” his voice was steady.

“Yes”

“Am i allowed to hug you?”

Even tho Poe was still shaking, Finn saw the little hint of a nod. So he carefully placed his arms around him, one arm steady and tight on Poe’s back and the other gently brushing his hair.

In the last 5 years, Finn used the force in people’s minds many times, but not even once on Poe’s. He didn’t need the force to know his thoughts or feel his pain or read behind his eyes.

He didn’t need the force to know how _heavy_ his chest felt or how his motivation to get up every day was slipping away or how his eyes _burned_ a little bit more every moment.

Finn’s voice was soft against Poe’s ear, “shhhh it’s okay. You are not alone. I’m here, i will always be here and i will never allow anyone to harm us.”

It was brief but Finn could feel Poe calming down, even a little bit.

“I just...i, i- i feel so...i just feel so helpless. Finn. Finn you don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than this. I hate it. I hate this situation and i hate myself for doing this to you.”

“Poe please darling no. All you did to me was love me and give me a family. You ever only gave me love and i love you Poe so much. Nothing you do is wrong. We are humans. Our hearts can only take this much.”

Poe was also hugging him now. Slowly, he raised his head to look at him. His eyes were red and swollen and fresh tears run to his cheeks.

“I love you so much. I don’t know what i’ve done to deserve you and i’m so selfish for not wanting to let you go”

Finn carefully took Poe’s face in his hands. With soft moves, his thumbs brushed away the tears from his cheeks and then he kissed him there, like it was the most sacred thing to do.

 _Maybe to him it truly was_.

“Then i’m selfish too because i’m never letting you go.”

Even tho Poe was still shaking, Finn could feel his body relaxing under his touch and his heartbeats getting slower.

“Take a deep breath okay? For me”

Poe closed his eyes and obeyed. His first breaths were shakinly but with each one, he was getting better.

 _Oh my darling_ , Finn thought, _if only i could keep you here in my arms forever...if only i could protect you from everything...if only my love was enough._

Poe opened his eyes and did his best to give him a smile.

 _That’s him. Trying to give me light even when he can’t escape his own darkness_.

Finn leaned in and kissed him gently. He tried to tell him all the things he desired but also to pass his love though that kiss. It was desperate but also soft. It was quick but also slow. It was fulfilling, but also _it needed more._

 _It was too much and not enough_.

It was all of that at once. Because that’s how it always felt. Like they had everything they wanted, but that everything was at the same time lost.

Finn broke the kiss and heard Poe’s instant breath. He closed his eyes, their foreheads touching. Poe took one last deep breath and raised his head.

“Okay.”

Finn opened his eyes, already missing Poe’s warmth against his forehead.

“You feeling better?”

“Yeah…” Poe whispered, sounding unsure.

What Finn wanted to say was _“It’s okay baby, it’s okay...take your time, let your wounds heal, i promise you, you’ll be okay. I can help you...”_ But, what he said was, “I promise you we’ll talk about this again, but i need you to go find Lai’ra right now, okay?” _even if it hurted like hell._

Finn saw guilt in Poe’s eyes. That look right there, was what made his heart sunk. _Poe please no, this isn’t your fault-_

“On it. I’ll meet you on the main hangar in fifteen minutes, okay?”

_I am so sorry about this Poe, i can’t believe i hurt you like this._

“Okay be careful”

“You too.”

* * *

Poe reached Lai’ra’s room in, what felt like, a heartbeat. As impossible as it felt, even more fear made its way to his heart, when he saw the empty room.

“Nena?!”

He felt the massive amount of relief, when he saw the familiar curly hair pop up from under the tiny table. He let a breath he didn’t know was holding and he kneeled down as she run to his arms.

“Papá!” she cried, “tengo miedo!”

“I know nena, it’s okay, i’m here now”

He saw BB-8 rolling next to him and he knew he had no more time to waste.

He picked her up and started making his way to the hangar, as fast as possible.

People were running and screaming, the whole place was like a blaster rain, in red and green colors and the the familiar noise of x-wings and tie fighters, was making his ears bleed.

Lai’ra was holding him tight- her little hands around his neck, while sobbing and shaking into his neck.

Poe recognised Rey immediately. He run to her and took cover. They were now standing next to her A-wing.

 _He couldn’t help but remember his mother_.

Rey stopped firing her blaster, and turned to look at him. She didn’t need to say anything because her eyes did all the work.

“No”

“Poe it’s now or never”

“I need to wait for Finn please-”

“There’s no time.” She reached her hands to take Lai’ra, _right from his hands._

Lai’ra cried harder and shouted things he couldn’t understand or hear clearly.

“Poe help me out we need to go now!”

“Let me-” He cleared his voice, “Let me calm her down. Please.”

Her expression was soft and full of sorrow, but she nodded.

Poe hold Lai’ra’s little body even tighter than before and started to whispear the familiar melody his mother used to sing to him when he was very young.

“muñequita linda, de cabellos de oro, de dientes de perlas y labios de carmín”

He felt her relax, under his hug so he continued, “Dime si me quieres, como yo te quiero, dime si te acuerdas como yo de ti.”

She lifted her tiny head and looked at him with her beautiful hazel eyes. He smiled at her and moved her hair from her face, as gently as he could and he finished the lullaby just before kissing her softly on her cheek.

“Yo te quiero mucho,mucho, mucho, mucho, tanto como entonces, siempre hasta morir.”

She sniffed and grabbed his shirt.

“Nena, you will stay with untie Rey for a little while, okay?”

“No papá, i want you and dad.” she cried.

“I know nena.” he kissed her forehead “Lo sé” he took a deep breath. The blaster noise was even louder now.

“We’ll come very soon, okay? We love you more than anything in the galaxy”

She still looked at him with the same expression.

“Te quiero papá”

Only the force knows, how he held it together and managed to smile. He picked her up carefully and handled her to Rey.

“Te quiero mucho nena”

Rey lost no more time and got in her A-wing as soon as possible.

Poe kept his eyes on the ship, up until the moment it completely disappeared from his gaze.

* * *

Poe made sure everyone got in to their transports before he got in the falcon

“Jess?! All the transports are gone, tell everyone to leave and make the jump to the rendezvous point immediately.”

“Copy that black leader. Did you get in one?”

“I’m in the falcon now. Go!”

“Okay Poe. Be careful.”

He saw all the x-wings jumping to hyperspace

_Come on Finn where are you_

Just as he was really starting to worry, he saw Finn running to the falcon while a tie fighter was shooting at him.

 _Oh god_.

Poe prepared the engines. “BB-8 set the coordinates now!”

Cold sweat was dripping from his head to the back of his neck and his hands were holding the lever so tight, it made his fingers white.

_Come on Finn. You’re almost here. Come on, you can do this._

* * *

_I can’t do this_.

Finn was running faster than he thought he could, his throat and legs burning. He could see the falcon up ahead and sense Poe in it, but he could also sense (and hear) the tie getting even closer.

That’s when the idea hit him.

He stopped running and stood there with his eyes close. The last thought before clearing his head was _i hope this isn’t stupid_. He took a deep breath and turned to face the fighter more determined than ever.

He extended his hand, keeping his eyes steady on the enemy ship and felt the force surround him, a pleasant and strong feeling. It was like every cell in his body was as bright as a star. He could sense the pilot of the tie fighter getting confused at first, and then that becoming fear as he lost total control of the ship.

With a move of his hand, Finn crashed the ship to the ground. The exhaustion hit his whole body like a blaster fire but he turned and run again, to the falcon.

He felt the ship making the jump, moments after he got in.

His body gave up to the weight of exhaustion and he fell to the ground breathing hard.

He heard Poe’s quick footsteps and then felt his hands on his shoulders.

_“Are you okay?!”_

He managed to breath a quick yes.

Poe left a relieved breath and hugged him tight.

“I got so scared. I didn’t know how to help you and-”

“It’s okay, there’s nothing you could do i had it under control i promise”

After a long moment Finn realised something. He broke their embrace to look at Poe.

“Where’s Lai’ra? I can’t sense her here”

Poe just looked at him without answering. Finn could feel the anxiety on his stomach as much as the raising heat on his face.

“Poe. Where’s Lai-”

“Rey took her.”

His face was hot with anger now.

“Where”

“I…I don’t-”

“Poe, where?”

“I don’t know!”

they were both shouting now.

“What do you mean you don’t know?! You just let her take our daughter like that without even talking about it with me first?

“Finn i didn’t even know where you were! And they were firing at us and i just-”

“You just what?!?!”

“I just did what i thought was best at the time!”

Finn could not believe this. _How could he do this?_

“Poe you knew i did not agree with this. You knew and yet you acted on it like i don’t matter.”

“Finn that’s not-”

“That’s not what?! What?! You know how fucked up your mind is, you know you can’t even make a simple decision without me anymore and you that you are completely useless on your own and yet you went out there _without_ me and managed to make everything worse and i have to fix it up _again_!”

Finn regret every single word he said, the moment the words came out of his mouth. Poe looked at him with shock that slowly turned to hurt.

“I’m sorry.”

Then he stood up and made made his way to the dorms.

“Poe no, that’s not what-”

Poe didn’t stop and and very quickly Finn just stood there alone with his thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Poe sat on the the familiar bed, in the captain’s quarters. He realised that even tho this wasn’t his bed, it was the one he spent more time to, after the countless missions he’s been to.

He softly rubbed the inner corner of his eyes. The headache was so bad he could truly feel his temples breaking.

 _“Dammit”_ he breathed to himself. _Why did you have to fuck up this bad again? Congrats on being a weight to your family again you fucking loser you deserve all the bad things that are happening to you._

Then another, way more painful thought made its way to his head.

_What if i don’t see my baby again._

Just thinking of Lai’ra made his heart sank. He missed her so much already. With a move of his hand he grabbed the necklace that hang lightly on his neck, and hold it tight. Some years ago there used to be his mother’s ring but now that ring belonged to Finn. He gave it to Finn right after the battle of Exegol.

Now that ring was replaced by something much more valuable to him. The new necklace had a really simple design. It was a gold circle that had a red big dot at the center. Poe brought it in front of him and pressed it. A holo picture appeared in front of his eyes. One that he’s seen so many times but he’s never tired of looking at again.

The pictured shows Poe holding a four months old Lai’ra with both of his hands, happy but also afraid that he’s holding her wrong _(like there is a right or wrong way)_ and Finn has his hands wrapped around Poe, his head buried on Poe’s neck, kissing his shoulder.

They were both smiling.

_How can a memory bring me sadness and joy at the same time._

There was a soft knock at the door and then Finn appeared.

“Can i come in?”

The truth was, Poe really wanted to stay alone for a little while. But the bigger truth was that he also hated being alone. He hated all the words and images his mind brought up whenever he was on his own. The saddest part was, that he knew one day, he’d be alone.

_But not today._

He nodded his head and Finn slowly closed the door and then walked towards Poe. He hesitated before sitting next to him on the bed, but he did.

The room was dark because Poe didn’t bother turning the light on, but the little flash of a light that came from the door, painted shadows on Finn’s face.

He smiled the moment he saw the picture. “I remember this” he said and his eyes light up.

“I can almost see you trembling”

“Hey!” Poe said in a defensive voice, even tho Finn was right. “I wasn’t trembling”

“Are you kidding?” Finn started to laugh “You were holding her like she was gonna break. And oh i still remember all those ridiculous questions”

Poe laughed too, so Finn continued, _“Finn she’s about to start crying i can see it. Oh lord i did something wrong what if i’m holding her too tight? But if i relax maybe she’ll fall? WHY ARE BABIES SO SMALL? FINN HELP ME”_

Poe laughed again and tried to defend himself, “But Finn, she was so small.”

Finn looked at him with a loving and soft expression. “Yeah i know. She grew up so fast…”

They sat there for a little while, sharing a silent moment before Finn spoke again.

“Poe, i am so sorry about earlier. I wish i could take back everything i said”

“It’s okay.” Poe answered quickly, “You were right anyways so…”

Finn’s eyes went wide. _“What?!_ Poe, _no!_ No no no i wasn’t! I was just so mad with myself and this situation and everything really and i just shouted at you. It wasn’t your fault. You protected her okay? If it wasn’t for you...i can’t even imagine what would've happen…”

Poe just looked at him without saying anything.

“I am so so sorry i hurt you like this, i-”

Poe took Finn’s hands and held them tight.

“Finn no, don’t worry about it, okay? It was a mistake that i took such a big decision without you...you have every right to be mad at me. Nothing you would ever do or say would hurt me, because _i know you_ more than anything and anyone in this galaxy.”

Finn looked at him and bit his lip. “I love you so much.”

Poe brought his hand to Finn’s cheek. “I love you too.”

* * *

Finn watched as Poe peacefully slept beside him- one arm under his pillow and the other across Finn’s chest. Finn once again tried to memorise _every single_ detail of his face.

_The soft black curls that hugged his forehead, his smooth skin with a faded scar right under his eye, the long lashes that barely touched his cheeks, the soft pink lips that always gave him the brightest smiles and the sweetest kisses._

He raised his hand and, briefly, traced Poe’s face with his finger, from his forehead to his chin, carefully, with endearing moves.

_Gods, i love him so much._

As he removed his hand he heard Poe whisper, “Don’t stop” in his still sleepy voice.

Finn only had time to smile before _it hit him._

It happened in just 1 second but it was so much.

First he felt a hundrent, _(no- a thousand)_ needles stubbing his stomach that started spreading through his whole body, and then images poped to his head and voices sent a shivering feeling from his ears.

**_Lai’ra screamed._ **

**_Poe fell from his hands._ **

**_Rey._ **

**_“She’s ours now”_ **

**_“This is your fault”_ **

**_“You must choose”_ **

**_Kes._ **

**_“You’re not the only one”_ **

**_Lai’ra._ **

**_“He won’t be able to fly again”_ **

**_Yellow eyes._ **

**_“Dad i’m scared”_ **

**_“You can’t help”_ **

**_“Help me please”_ **

Finn jumped from the bed breathing hard and brought an arm right above his heart- feeling his chest burning.

He felt Poe standing up immediately, beside him, his arms welcoming him to a warm embrace. He held him tight for some moments, pressing kisses to his head before asking,

“What is it sweetheart? Did you see something?”

Finn felt dizzy, like his brain was about to melt or break. He raised his head to look at Poe.

 _Should i tell him? What if i make him feel worse than he already does_?

It was like Poe read his mind, because his eyes softened like he was telling him _“It’s okay i can handle it.”_

“I think i had a vision. I-I’m not sure what-” He broke off. He didn’t even know what just happened, what was he gonna say to his husband?

Poe touched Finn’s cheek, making small circles with his thumb.

_It’s okay, go on._

“I- I saw images and- I heard voices, _so many voices_ , and i saw our baby but at the same it wasn’t her and i saw your dad and rey and then _more voices_ and i saw you fall…”

Finn sobbed at the last sentence and Poe hugged him tight.

“It’s okay i’ve got you now. Nothing will happen to me okay? Breathe...everything will be okay again i promise you, Finn.”

Finn stayed there, with his head buried on Poe’s neck for a long time. His touch was soothing, _gods_ even hearing Poe’s breath was soothing.

 _I love you so much. I wanna stay here forever_.

When he finally calmed down, he broke off the hug and took a good look of his husband's face.

Poe leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply, exactly in the way Finn liked. It was their unspoken _“let me take care of you”._

“So what are we going to do?” Poe asked after a little while.

Finn sighed. “We need to get Lai’ra. Rey thinks she’s safer without us but she’s wrong. And this not me talking as her dad anymore. I felt it Poe. I know she will be safer with us.

Poe nodded. “I believe you sweetheart. I trust you. We’ll get her home.”

Finn smiled and got out of bed. “Great. I will set the coordinates and inform the general that we will not make it to the rendezvous point.” He tried to move fast, hoping they would not be late. He walked to the door but stopped when Poe spoke: “Wait.”

Finn turned to look at him.

“How do you know where Rey is?”

“She’s on Yavin IV. I can’t explain it but i’m sure.”

Poe looked at him confused. “But why would Rey go to my dad? That doesn’t make any sense…”

“That’s the thing. I never said she’s going to your dad. I said she’s going to Yavin IV.”

“Oh…” Poe progressed it for a moment. “That’s actually kinda smart.”

Finn sighed.

“Yeah...kinda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'll try to update every 3 or 4 days so that you won't have to wait long!


	3. Chapter 3

Finn took a deep breath. He was trying to concentrate for an hour now, with zero results.

_Maybe the fact that my nerves are on edge, doesn’t help._

He sighed and tried again. He knew about the force bonds, since the time he was training with Rey, but he’s never actually managed to do it.

_What am i doing wrong? Maybe Rey is shutting me off?_

Then a thought occurred to him. _What if…_

He closed his eyes and cleared his head. He inhaled from his nose and exhaled from his mouth, as he grabbed Poe’s ring, that hang on his neck, tight.

Suddenly, he couldn’t hear the ship’s engines or feel the seat under his legs.

_He felt peace._

When he opened his eyes, he saw _her_.

Her face was the only thing he could see...behind her everything was black.

“ _Baby?_ ” He could hear his own voice, echo in his ears.

“ _Dad?_ ” She reached out her hands, with a confusion in her eyes. “ _Where are you_?”

His heart ached.

“ _Baby are you okay?_ ”

Lai’ra kept looking at him confused and then she tried to hug him.

“ _I’m not there yet baby but i’m coming to you...are you still on auntie Rey’s ship?_ ”

“ _No_.” She shook her head.

“ _Are you with grandpa_?” Finn was desperate for any kind of confirmation that they truly were on Yavin IV. Even tho he had a feeling, he didn’t trust himself fully anymore.

Lai’ra’s face lighten up.

“ _We’re going to grandpa?!_ ”

This was helpless. There’s no way Lai’ra actually knows about Rey’s plans.

“ _Dad? I’m scared...When you leave there’s a ghost that scares me._ ”

Finn panicked. His heartbeat raised to a point he lost his focus and the bond was broken.

“Baby? Lai’ra? Lai’ra?!”

“Finn?!” He heard Poe’s voice coming from the next room. He stood next to him in no time, looking at him with concern in his eyes. Finn tried to find the right words.

“I just…” He buried his face to his hands. “I’m sorry Poe. I’m just so scared that i’m wrong and we’re losing time and-”

“Hey…” Poe’s voice was like a touch of a feather.

“You’re not wrong”

Finn raised his head sharply. “I-I’m not?”

“Nope.” Poe took Finn’s hand on his own and pressed a gentle kiss on his wrist.

“How do you know?”

Poe smirked. “Just a feeling…”

* * *

They reached the moon after a long trip. Finn explained the quick force-bond connection he had earlier and they talked about it for some time. Finn had missed this. Them sitting in the Falcon’s cockpit, chatting, on their way to Poe’s home planet.

_Well...our home planet_.

It took awhile, but eventually Finn felt like Yavin was his home too. Poe’s dad embraced him instantly and made him feel part of the family since their first meet...and then Lai’ra came and it was perfect. No it was more than perfect. He finally had a family.

He had Poe. He had Lai’ra. He had Rey.

And he would do anything to protect them.

_Anything_.

Soon enough they came out of hyperspace and the familiar green planet appeared in front of his eyes. They had decided earlier, not to contact Kes, because he would get worried (even tho it’d be for a good damn reason).

The moment the ship got in the Yavinian atmosphere, Poe took a quick breath. Finn raised his brow as he asked, “Everything alright?”

Poe shook his head like something was irritating him.

“I just…” he stopped.

“What is it?”

Poe stood still for a moment. “Nothing. Really it’s nothing, just a migraine.”

_Poe after all these years, you still can’t lie._

“Okay.”

_Let’s land and i’ll ask him again later._

Landing was as smooth as possible, with Poe piloting. Finn caught a sight of Kes, already coming out of the house with a towel in his hands.

They turned off the engines and immediately got up, heading towards the ship’s door. Finn intertwined his fingers to Poe’s- a gesture of comfort, as they got out of the ship.

BB-8 was the first one to “hug” Kes, as the little droid rolled to him at once and he knelt down to embrace it. That gave Finn the time he wanted to ta say “It’s gonna be okay” in his low voice, before pressing a quick kiss to Poe’s cheek.

“Poe! Finn!” Kes called them as he stood up. If he was tired he definitely didn’t show it, but his dirty shirt and the the grey sweatpants he wore for work, gave it away. He was either working on his little garden, or fixing some parts for his repair shop.

“What a lovely surprise!” He said and two steps later, he embraced them both in a tight hug.

“I missed you all so much.”

“We missed you too dad...” Finn could hear Poe smiling.

“So” Kes said as he took a step back and started searching with his eyes for someone.

_Here we go_.

“Where’s my little beast?”

Finn and Poe just looked at each other first, without saying anything. Where would they even begin to explain the situation?

“Poe?”

“Lai’ra is here. Just not here-here...with us i mean”

The older man looked at them confused and then worried.

“What does that mean?”

“Let’s go inside and we’ll explain everything.” Finn suggested, and pat Kes on his shoulder.

* * *

The inside of the house was exactly the same, Poe noticed as he stepped in. It didn’t surprise him tho, he knew his dad hated changes and he was more than okay with it. With everything going on in his life these past years, it was nice to know at least one thing would remain untouched.

The house was small- the kitchen and the living room were basically the same room, with a small table with 4 wooden chairs next to the kitchen part and a big red sofa with a smaller table in front of it, next to window. There was also a big purple box at the corner of the room that had all of Lai’ra’s toys.

The house also had two bedrooms and a bathroom. Poe’s bedroom had two beds- one for him and Finn and a smaller one for Lai’ra, (even tho she never used it because she slept with his dad instead, for some reason).

Finn and Poe sat to the kitchen table, waiting for Kes, as he brought them some water. When he finally sat, he wasted no more time and asked at once.

“So, what happened?”

Finn started to explain everything, with as many details as possible. The attack, Rey leaving with Lai’ra- possibly on Yavin...but as he spoke Poe couldn’t concentrate. He kept looking to the window, where the force tree could be barely seen. He felt like, the more he looked at it, the more he was drawn to it.

_What is happening to me._

It was like he was under some sort of hypnotism...Like he couldn’t control his body, because he didn’t even realise he was standing up, until Finn spoke.

“Poe? Wh-”

“I’ll be right back.”

He made his way to the back yard, passing through his dad’s growing garden. He didn’t- no he couldn’t- look at anything else but the tree.

He stood right in front of it, and everything he felt since the moment they reached Yavin, was even _louder_.

He touched the thin trunk and he felt some sort of power, like eclecticism, attacking his body.

_There’s something here._

“Poe!”

Finn’s voice shook him, and he dropped his hand quickly, feeling like he just woke up from a long, deep sleep.

He turned to see Finn approach him in quick big steps.

“You were right! They’re here, and i know exactly where.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sorry it took so long to upload...this chapter sets up a lot of stuff that will very soon start to unfold...I hope you enjoyed!!


	4. Chapter 4

“You know”, Poe said as they were walking through the forest, with the sun attacking their faces. “From all the parental books i read, it never said ‘oh by the way at some point you will have to drive in a speeder for 3 hours and then walk for 45 minutes because your husband sensed your lost daughter is in the woods.”

Finn gave him a soft laugh as an answer. He wasn’t exhausted or tired but he knew how much Poe would start whine the minute he’d start to feel so.

“Oh? I swear the ones i read were oddly specific on that”

They had to leave the speeder before entering the woods, because even for a great pilot like Poe, it was impossible to drive through that.

After 15 more silent minutes, they finally reached the end of the forest.

“Do you think they’re hiding?” Poe asked in a pounding voice.

“How the fuck can you hide a freaking A-Wing.”

Up ahead was a small village, with a few farmer houses here and there. It was beautiful and peaceful, nothing like what their past 4 years have been like but exactly how they wanted them to be.

“Okay” Finn left a sigh and started walking. “Let’s ask the locals if they’ve seen anything the past two days. Maybe some of-”

“They’re here.” Poe said in with a surance in his voice, Finn wasn’t used to.

“How do you know?”

“I have a feeling.”

Finn’s heart ached. He tried to ignore the first few times Poe would say something like that, he even manages to ignore how Poe is drawn more and more to  _ the tree  _ every time they visit Yavin. But the last few months it’s so common and stronger that he can’t.

He wonders if Poe also knows at this point, and he just decides to also ignore it.

_ Ignore the fact that the force is calling to him. _

Finn was a Jedi.

Once.

It was five years ago. He trained with Rey and he was really good at it. He could feel the force surround everything and that same energy, pulling to him like a magnet. The best (and his personal favourite) day of his training was when he constracted his lightsaber. The metallic handle had the color of blue gold, and the blade was white. Even Rey was impressed when he ignited it for the first time.

Fighting with it had the best feeling in the galaxy. It felt like an extension of himself. It was the proof that he can build something good and beautiful and be happy.

Finn will always be grateful for that.

It was the day he finished his training that he announced to Rey he was gonna quit.

Rey didn’t believe him at first, but when he didn’t react, he looked at him with shock in her eyes.

She tried to convince him of course, by saying how good he is at being a Jedi and how strong he was and that she would always be with him to help each other through, but Finn’s mind was made. He knew what he wanted and what would make him feel peace. So he told her, what he quietly says to himself every day since then:

_ “I choose Poe.” _

And he never regretted that choice. He would always choose him no matter what.

“I trust you.” He said and he meant it.

Poe looked at him with loving eyes and without wasting any time he grabbed Finn’s hand tight and dragged him forward. 

Poe was walking in between the houses with a confidence, like he lived here his entire life.

They were nearly at the end of the village when Poe stopped. There were two houses ahead, simple structure, and  _ bingo.  _ Just a few feet behind them, a red A-Wing.

_ “What are you doing here?!”  _

Finn would recognise that voice anywhere. Rey popped up from her ship and walked towards them in big steady steps.

_ “I thought we agreed that-” _

“When the fuck did i agree on anything?” Finn was both relieved and pissed off when he saw her. He wanted to hug her to death.

“How did you even find me?” Her voice was a bit softer this time.

“I turned down all the tracker d-”

_ “DAD? _ _ PAPÁ _ _?” _

Lai’ra started running to them as fast as she could. Finn didn’t let Rey finish, as he also run to her and picked up from the ground, to give her a tight hug. She had he arms and legs wrapped around him and buried her head to the groove of his neck.

Even her smell was comforting. Finn let a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and he quickly felt Poe joining the hug.

_ Can i stay here forever? _

_“_ _te echo de menos, te echo de menos, te echo de menos, te echo de menos”_ Lai’ra said as she pressed kisses to his cheek. Finn was still learning yavinian but he perfectly understood this.

_ I missed you, i missed you, i missed you, i missed you. _

“Oh? You only missed one of us? I see…” Poe said with a smile he couldn’t hide. Lai’ra then turned started giving kisses to him too.

“te echo de menos mucho, nena” Poe said in that voice that only Finn ever heard and it completely and absolutely drove him crazy.

_ “For stars sake, we were gone for two days, not two years”  _

Finn almost forgot about Rey till that moment. Poe spoke next.

“It sure as fuck felt like two years.”

Lai’ra then, turned to Finn again.

“Dad? What does fuck mean?”

Finn immediately looked at Poe, “Honey? I want you to turn your ‘parent switch’ on, please?”

“Shit. Yeah- I MEANT YEAH SORRY.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


They decided to all go back to Kes’s house. The A-Wing had space of one- maybe two- people, so Finn suggested Poe, take Lai’ra with the ship and him and Rey would return with the speeder. Poe knew that look: Finn wanted to talk to her about something. This happened sometimes but he was never worried. Whatever it’d be, Finn would always tell him afterwards.

The flight from the village to his dad’s house lasted about 30 minutes but every single one of them was a delight.

Lai’ra was sitting on his lap and he tried to show her some things, in the same way his mother did to him.

“And where is grandma now?”

She would ask. Poe pressed a soft kiss to her top of her head and he replied:

“She’s in the stars.”

“And when will she return?”

“She can’t return nena… but she watches over you.”

She turned to look at him with big eyes.

_ “She does?” _

“Of course.” He gave her a smile. “She makes sure you’re okay.”

She was silent after that.

_ That’s weird,  _ Poe thought. If anything, Lai’ra is never quiet.

After a while he landed the ship next to the Falcon. The moment they got out, Lai’ra screamed in his ear, “ABUELO!” and jumped from his arms to run straight up to his dad.

_ There she is,  _ Poe thought.

The moment they got in the house, his ‘ _ parent switch’  _ was on _ ,  _ as Finn phrased it.

Finn and Rey wouldn’t be here for another 3 hours at least, but both he and Kes decided to wait for them, for dinner. But still Lai’ra needed to eat and she  _ sure as hell _ , wasn’t making it easy for him. He was trying his best for some time now and he failed completely. There was no way he was gonna give up tho.  _ I’m waaaay more stubborn that a four year old.  _ So he raised the spoon and tried again.

“Here comes the little ship-”

_ “No!” _

Lai’ra crossed her arms and frowned stubbornly.

_ Why did you have to be like me? Couldn’t you be more like Finn? _

Poe sighed, with the spoon still in his hand. 

“Come on nena you didn’t even try it.”

She looked at him in an even more stubborn way.

“I don’t like it!”

Poe raised his voice a bit.

_ “How do you know you don’t like it, you don’t even try it!” _

Lai’ra whined more and raised her voice more that Poe did.

“I want dad.”

“Dad will be here later.” Four years with Lai’ra have made his patience grow wildly.

“I wanna go outside.”

“No Lai’ra you won’t get up until you finish your f-”

“I WANNA GO OUTSIDE!” She screamed and that caused him to accidentally drop the full with food, spoon on his shirt.

_ “Lai’ra sit down!” _

“I want you to know,” his dad’s voice came from the the door, “that i am really enjoying this.”

_ “Very funny.”  _ Poe grabbed a towel and started to rub his shirt as Kes laughed and joined them at the kitchen table.

“Go change your shirt and i’ll make sure she eats.”

Poe left towel on the table as he got up.

“Good luck with that.”

As Poe walked to his room, he could already hear Lai’ra whine. 

_ Let’s see what you do now old man. _

He closed the door as he entered the room and took of his dirty shirt. After minimum consideration he decided change all his clothes and put something more comfortable. He tossed his dirty clothes to a basket they had at the corner of the room for laundry, and he put on his dark grey sweatpants and a black t shirt. 

Just looking at his bed, reminded him of how tired he was, but even laying down made him feel guilty, knowing Finn was still out there in an uncomfortable speeder.

With a sigh, he exited the room and moved to the kitchen, to only find his dad and Lai’ra’s now empty plate.

_ “Wow- She ate it all?!” _

Kes laughed as he put the plate into the sink.

“Yeap. Now she’s outside.”

Poe couldn’t believe this.

_ “How?” _

Kes looked at him with a smirk. 

“That’s a secret.”

_ Secret or not i’m gonna annoy you until you tell me. _

Poe thought as he sat on the couch right next to the window, so he can easily turn and check on Lai’ra. Kes joined him shortly and placed a hand on Poe’s knee.

“I missed you. All of you.” 

Poe gave him a tired smile and grabbed his hand.

“We missed you too, dad.”

They started having a conversation about everything Kes was up to, since they last spoke. He told Poe about the new vegetables in the garden, and about his work on the repair shop and about his new neighbors.

They were deep in their chat when Kes raised his head to the window and asked, “Who is she talking to?”

Poe turned to window. It was getting dark, and Lai’ra was sitting on the ground with her head up talking to someone. Only no one except her was outside.

His first thought was  _ Damn, she’ll need a shower afterwards. _

His second thought was, “She’s just playing”

But even as he said it out loud, something was irritating him.

“I’m gonna go check on her, be right back”

He got out of the house and came close to her. The closer he got, the more this weird feeling in his chest would grow. When he got close enough she stopped talking and looked at him with a bit of fear in her eyes. The only thing he managed to hear before she stopped was “but i love my dads and they love me”

Poe sat on the ground, opposite her.

“Hey nena. What are you doing?”

She looked at him like she was about to cry.

_ Okay he was definitely worried now. _

“What is it?”

She jumped to his hug and started crying.

_ “ _ _ papá, tell her to leave!” _

_ What? _

“Shhh, no,no,no, nena, i’m here. Wh-”

She started sobbing and shaking and Poe was worried sick.

_ What happened? _

She hugged her and rubbed his hand on her tiny back, hoping she would calm down.

“What is it baby, who scared you?”

__ Then she started screaming some nonsense to the point where Kes heard them and came outside, worried.

_ “Poe! What happened?!” _

Poe got up, still carrying her in his arms.

“I don’t know. She just started crying.”

They got into the house and Poe was doing his best to calm her down. The important thing right now was not, to find out what happened, but to make her relax. Her screams made his heart ache. He would whisper soft lullabies in her ear or just talk to her, let her know he’s here and he’s never going to let anything harm her.

After a long time, exhaustion finally gave in and she slept in his arms.

He sat on the couch, still holding her with his dad on his side. He knew he had to put her to bed, but he wanted- no  _ needed,  _ to hold onto her a bit longer.

“What was that?” His dad’s voice was a whisper and Poe wasn’t sure if it was from the shock or because she was sleeping. He whispered too.

“I wish i knew… one moment she was okay and the other she started crying and sobbing.”

Kes was skeptical for a moment.

“Maybe an animal scared her of?”

Poe was sure it wasn’t that. But he didn’t want to worry his father more.

He put Lai’ra to bed and he left the door open, so he can see her. They sat quietly and by the time Finn and Rey arrived, Poe knew they sensed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking me forever to upload! I promise it won't happen again... writing Poe as a dad was the best thing in the world and i had so much fun with this chapter! I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Finn was knelt down next to Lai’ra’s bed, petting her hair softly. He was still agitated, even tho it’s been some time since he felt everything.

_ He only sensed her fear but it was so raw and strong. _

Behind him, Poe and Rey were talking quietly. Poe was describing for the tenth time what happened and Rey was making more and more questions.

Lai’ra seemed calm now, breathing slow with her left hand in a fist right next to her head. Finn pressed a soft kiss to her head and slowly got up to join the others.

“So, what are we gonna do?”

Poe intertwined their fingers together, the moment Finn came to his side.

_ It’s gonna be okay. Right? _

“It’s not like we can ask her about it. She won’t remember it or won’t even know what happened.”

Rey was thoughtful for a moment. Then she looked at them with an unsure look and spoke in a voice that matched that look.

“There is a way...but…”

It took Finn three seconds to understand what she was talking about.

_ “Are you out of you mind?” _

Poe was looking at them both, trying to read the room.

_ “Rey, she’s four years old.” _

“I know that! But Finn.. there’s no other way and you know we can’t leave it like that. You can do it if you don’t trust me.”

That’s when Poe understood what was going on, because he took a step back- letting go of Finn’s hand.

“Wait, wait, wait- am i getting this right? Are you seriously suggesting using the force in  _ her mind?! _ ”

“Just listen to me-”

“No you listen. I may be no Jedi or know force like you do, but even i know that using the force to someone so young, can damage their mind, so no.”

“Yes it can damage them if they resist. She’s sleeping right now there’s no way she will-”

Poe run a hand to his hair and turned around.

“Finn.” Rey turned to him.

“You felt it as much i did. There’s something really wrong about this. I get it if you don’t want me to do it. You can do it. If she does resist you just stop at once. The chance that this will actually damage her is really low.”

“Rey you know it’s not just that. You know it’s- it’s…”

Poe quickly turned to face him.

“Are you really considering this?”

Finn opened his mouth to speak but Poe cut him of.

“Don’t you even try. There’s no way i’m gonna let my daughter go through what i did.”

_ Oh.  _

Finn felt guilty he didn’t instantly thought of that. It’s been five years but it still affected Poe to this day. Finn walked to him and took his hands to his own.

_ “If”  _ he gave a love of weight to that single word. “If we decide to do it, it will be nothing like that. Rey would never suggest something that would hurt her, okay? I would never let it happen.”

Poe just looked at him for some moments, a little bit of the tense slipping away.

“I don’t know Finn.”

Finn’s next worlds were like a whisper.

“You felt it too, didn’t you? That something was-”

“-terribly wrong.”

They just looked at each other for some moments. There was still conflict.

They turned to Rey at the same time.

“I’ll do it.”

To the sound of that, Poe tightened his grip.

“Okay. The moment you feel anything is wrong or you feel her resist just let go.” said Rey, as they all walked next to Lai’ra’s bed.

As Finn took a deep breath, Rey and Poe stepped aside. He needed space to breath and concentrate. 

_ What am i doing? _

“Wait.” Poe’s voice was a bit shaky. “Is this- is there no- i mean…”

Rey touched his shoulder softly. 

“You can step outside if you want. It’s okay.”

Poe shook his head. “No, no i’ll stay.” 

He took another shaky breath.

“I’ll stay.”

Finn was scared he was gonna push too far, or make her forget something _ (is that even possible?) _ , or hurt her in any way. But he knew this needed to be done. Because something big was going on here and he needed to know. He needed to protect her.

_ Okay. _

He raised his hand just above her head and pushed the force, as smoothly as possible. 

First he saw some images, people, toys, places- then he felt her feelings. All of them were so intense. Happiness, anger, love, fear.

Lai’ra started to move her head abruptly and took some short breaths.

_ I’m sorry baby just hang on a little longer. _

He was close to what they were looking for, he could feel it.

“Finn?”

Poe sounded really worried and he hated that but it would soon be over.

Finn followed the feeling of fear- used it as a guidance. The more he chased it the more force he had to use and that made him even more nervous.

He could finally see some of these memories getting a shape in front of him. It was getting harder and harder to see them clear. Voices in the form of whispers, soon made their way to his ear. Most of them didn’t seem off, until he heard a specific one multiple times:

_ “Help me grandma Shara, please, please help me” _

That sentence was strongly connected to the feeling of fear so Finn tried to follow that.

Lai’ra was struggling even more now- Finn couldn’t see her but he heard her cries, just underneath him.

“Finn? Are you done?”

_ I’m so close. _

He didn’t speak because he was scared he would lost his concentrate and mess something up. Just as he was at the deep edges of her mind, he saw someone taking a form, a mysterious figure. 

_ Who are you. _

Lai’ra started crying and it was quickly turning to sobs.

_ “Finn that’s enough!”  _ Poe’s voice felt distant.

He needed to see who or what that figure was.

And he soon enough did. It was a woman- about his age, with dark skin like his and yellow eyes. She wore black pants with a long black shirt, a black thick belt, black boots and a long black cape. Her thick dark curls were pushed out of her face with something that was between a metallic ribbon and a crown- in her forehead.

She was looking directly to him.

_ “Well, well.” _

Her voice was bitter and warm.

_ “See little girl? I told you so.” _

The last thing Finn saw before getting out of his daughter’s mind, was the lightsaber that was hanging from that stranger’s leather belt.

_ “Finn please stop!” _

He removed himself complete and opened his eyes, breathing hard. He had tons of questions and was worried sick about that intruder he discovered on Lai’ra’s mind. But he had no time to think because when he looked down at her, she was looking at him with her big tired and frightened eyes and he realised immediately, in a moment that split his heart in two pieces, what that look meant.

_ She’s scared of me. _

His eyes burned and produced tears in a heartbeat. He was speechless- afraid to even move, just looking at her.

_ What have i done. _

“Nena? Are you oka-”

Poe was cut short when Lai’ra raised her hand and pushed them-  _ freaking pushed all three of them,  _ using the force.  _ The force. _

Even as he was in a complete  _ shock,  _ he and Rey immediately pushed back, clearly because of their quick reflexes. 

_ What the heck is going on? How does she know how to do that? Why is she doing that? How is she this strong with the force? I knew she was strong but this- this is different. How is she equally strong as me and Rey together? _

Everything happened so fast, he didn’t have time to protect Poe, so he hit the wall and fell to the ground. 

_ “Poe stay behind us!” _

From the edge of Rey’s voice, Finn could tell she was struggling as much as he was. Not that this was comforting.

_ “Both of you stop! What are you doing?!” _

_ “We’re not attacking her, we’re just defending ourselves!” _

Poe tried to move a bit forward with a struggle.

_ He’s hurt.  _ Finn thought.

_ “Nena? Nena please stop it’s me. Whatever you’re scared of i’m here. I’m here baby let me come to you.” _

Lai’ra looked at Poe- still crying, and Finn felt her loosen up a little bit.

_ “That’s it nena, lo estás haciendo genial” _

She was pushing even less now- and so where Finn and Rey.

_ “That’s my brave little girl” _

Poe was really close to her now. The moment she completely stop, he reached out to hug her but she physically pushed his hand away.

_ “No! I don’t want you!” _

Finn could see the pain being written in Poe’s face, in a matter of seconds.

_ “Nena it’s me. I love y-” _

_ “No you’re bad like her and you make me scared! I don’t love you” _

At that, her tearful eyes also looked at Finn.

With a move of her hand, Rey opened the door, to reveal a very concerned Kes.

_ “What was that noise? Why is everyone shouting i-” _

_ “Grandpa!”  _

Lai’ra jumped from her bed and run straight at him. He picked her up while still looking at them very confused and worried. Poe got up and came close to them, trying to reach out to her again.

“Mija please-”

“No!” She started screaming and her cries were louder.  _ “Leave me! Abuelo don’t let them please, please, please” _

Finn couldn’t take this any longer. His knees gave up as they hit the ground and he buried his face to his hands.

_ “Shhh, no cariño it’s okay”  _ Kes was talking softly to her.

__ “Dad just-” Poe took a breath to steady his voice. “Just take her to your room and stay with her please. Make sure she sleeps and i’ll explain everything in the morning.”

With a nod of his head disappeared. After some moments Finn heard the door of his room close. That’s when Poe collapsed to the ground too. Rey sat on the bed with a sigh and Finn came to Poe, still worried.

“Are you hurt?”

His voice was weak. “Just my hand.” he pointed right above the elbow and Finn kissed him there.

His hand was the last thing. Finn could feel his pain and it was a torture.

BB-8 quietly rolled next to him with sad beeps following. Poe smiled softly.

“Yeah i know. I love you too buddy.”

They all just sat quietly there for some moments, until Lai’ra’s cries from the next room, finally stopped. That’s when Rey spoke.

“So? Did you at least find anything or was it all for nothing?”

“I did.” 

He explained everything as best as he could. While he was describing the situation, Poe and Rey didn’t interrupt him, not even once. When he was finally done Poe buried his face, in his hands and then his whole body started shaking.

Finn embraced him immediately into a tight hug.

“Shhh, it’s gonna be okay, we can fix this”

_ Can we really, tho. _

“How, Finn-” Poe was struggling to breath. “How are we gonna fix this? How…”

Finn hugged him tighter and placed kisses on the top of Poe’s head.

“We’ll find a way. We will.” He sounded way more confident than he was.

He made eye contact with Rey. She understood him immediately so he broke of. 

“Okay.” She said. “Let’s call it a night. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

Finn nodded. “You can stay in Lai’ra’s bed-”

“No that’s okay. I’ll sleep in the couch as always.”

She got up and took a pillow and a pair of blankets from the closet.

“Rey, there’s also a pair of pajamas underneath… yeah right there.”

Rey found the old pair of pajamas that used to belong to Finn and closed the closet.

In any other day, she would joke and say something like  _ “Can’t i borrow Poe’s since he’s you know, barely 1,50m tall?”  _ and Poe would answer something like  _ “Oh? You consider yourself to be funny right now?” _

But tonight, Rey just breathed a “goodnight” and left room, closing the door behind her.

Finn managed to put Poe to bed and then changed into pajamas and joined him quickly. He brushed Poe’s hair with his fingers softly, (a move he new, his husband loved), and with a low voice he would tell him again and again that “i’m here and i love you” and Poe would answer the same.

They stayed like that for a long time and only when Poe finally slept, Finn allowed himself to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had some action... I can't wait to see what you think of it! I'd love to know your thoughts so don't hesitate to leave a comment. I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!!  
> I was really anxious about posting it... I will upload the next chapter asap!!


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